Most of my poetry begins with a phrase
chasing itself around in my head.
I have learned that there is usually a truth
to be learned from this kind of thing -
for me at least. My poetry is always
a surprise to me!
The Silence Within
Plumbing mysteries of life
Exchanged for ignorant poverty
Life’s a jumble
Leaves us hungering
For the feast.
In rags of mundanity
We stumble through life
Eyes downcast
Blind to the presence
Of spiritual food.
Life in the margins
Never savouring the depths
Groveling in confusion
Precious time ill-spent
Looking in barren fields.
Drowning in a famine of chaos
Begging for meaning
In all the wrong places
Weary and worn from our emptiness
Downtrodden by shadows.
Raising our eyes
Looking inward for help
Our path becomes clearer
Silence envelops us.
A gateway appears.
We are rich beyond measure.
sfs2001
This was written at a time when I was grasping at straws
looking for meaning - often in the wrong places.
Only when I started to write the last five lines
did I begin to understand my reason for writing this poem.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
WHO AM I?
I danced on the moon
I flew through the stars
I painted the skies
With my tears and my laughter
I sculpted my life without care
Taking no thought
For the promise it held
More and more often
My skies became stained
With deepening gloom and despair.
I feel so alone!
On the outside I laugh
On the inside I moan
As darkness takes over
My carefully-crafted facade
Becomes lost in the shadows
Of deepening gloom and despair.
I want to dance
I want to fly
I want to feel free
I want to deliver
My soul, my sacred self
From deepening gloom and despair.
I want to find me!
...sfstevens
1998
REFLECTIONS ON WHO AM I?
This was written some eleven years ago, when I was losing my battle with depression. Everything was overwhelming to me. Anything I tried seemed to be insurmountable. Even the simplest, most familiar occurrences could send me into a spiral. I prayed a lot for help and strength, but at times it looked as tho’ no one was listening. I cried and yelled at the anonymous ‘whoever’ that seemed to be conspiring against me.
I flung myself repeatedly against the same old obstacles and, surprise! they were as immovable as ever. There was no hope, I thought. I had wasted so much of my life, prospects of regaining control (if I had ever had it!) appeared impossible. I threw tantrums. I made unwise decisions, but I didn’t care. If God didn’t, and it looked like He didn’t, why should I?
I put up a good facade - I laughed and talked and continued to act as tho’ nothing whatever was wrong. On the inside I wanted nothing more than to be ME - whoever that was! I wanted to feel free to live out my purpose. The problem? I still had no idea what my purpose was!
Not to be completely overcome, I continued to rant and rave at the ‘powers that be’ and in between times, I tried to pray. Prayer won more often than not , but I still could see no end to this dilemma. Who was I, exactly? I didn’t know then, and still don’t today. I do have a clearer picture tho’. So that means there’s hope!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I danced on the moon
I flew through the stars
I painted the skies
With my tears and my laughter
I sculpted my life without care
Taking no thought
For the promise it held
More and more often
My skies became stained
With deepening gloom and despair.
I feel so alone!
On the outside I laugh
On the inside I moan
As darkness takes over
My carefully-crafted facade
Becomes lost in the shadows
Of deepening gloom and despair.
I want to dance
I want to fly
I want to feel free
I want to deliver
My soul, my sacred self
From deepening gloom and despair.
I want to find me!
...sfstevens
1998
REFLECTIONS ON WHO AM I?
This was written some eleven years ago, when I was losing my battle with depression. Everything was overwhelming to me. Anything I tried seemed to be insurmountable. Even the simplest, most familiar occurrences could send me into a spiral. I prayed a lot for help and strength, but at times it looked as tho’ no one was listening. I cried and yelled at the anonymous ‘whoever’ that seemed to be conspiring against me.
I flung myself repeatedly against the same old obstacles and, surprise! they were as immovable as ever. There was no hope, I thought. I had wasted so much of my life, prospects of regaining control (if I had ever had it!) appeared impossible. I threw tantrums. I made unwise decisions, but I didn’t care. If God didn’t, and it looked like He didn’t, why should I?
I put up a good facade - I laughed and talked and continued to act as tho’ nothing whatever was wrong. On the inside I wanted nothing more than to be ME - whoever that was! I wanted to feel free to live out my purpose. The problem? I still had no idea what my purpose was!
Not to be completely overcome, I continued to rant and rave at the ‘powers that be’ and in between times, I tried to pray. Prayer won more often than not , but I still could see no end to this dilemma. Who was I, exactly? I didn’t know then, and still don’t today. I do have a clearer picture tho’. So that means there’s hope!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
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