Tuesday, April 7, 2009

ON BEING ORDINARY....

ON BEING ORDINARY;
I used to think that being ordinary was not a state I could aspire to.
It was common and boring - being ordinary meant being one of the crowd.
What a terrible fate I thought as I peered down from the lofty heights
Of my snobbish nose. Surely these little people want "more" out of life?
I tried and tried to be one of the chosen, select ones.
I was singularly unsuccessful. But that didn't stop me from trying again, and again , and again....
Each time I failed, the veneer, the mask I wore, grew thinner and thinner.
Harder and harder to hold together.
I was afraid - afraid that people would see through my mask.
They would see the "real" me and they would hate me!
This only made me strive harder and try more and more impossible feats.
Time after time I beat myself with my guilt. Oh, if only the world could see THOSE bruises,
I thought. But I don't want them to see me as I really am.
Time passed. My mask became threadbare and weak. I was growing weaker
And more frantic by the moment.
Any time now the whole facade would explode.
It didn't explode and somehow I held it together.
There's got to be more to life than this terrifying, draining struggle.
Admitting that I needed help was hard enough, seeking out that help was
Hard beyond belief. But to have that person tell me that I was not
Not superior and above average, and worse yet just ordinary! was
Unbearable. I argued and fought and denied it. I refused to surrender!
But .....then one day, I realized something that changed my attitude and started me
Down a road where I could not only accept, but rejoice and revel in my ordinariness!
Many blessed and wonderful things came about because of ordinary people.
One of the most wonderful being the birth of Christ - a special child - to ordinary parents.
If he could come from such humble, ordinary beginnings, then surely there could be
Nothing shameful about being ordinary. Rather it seems now a privilege to be called - ordinary!
...musings by sfstevens